The Enemy Is Us

08:02 am - Can you see the time running out?We all want things, different things for different people but it's still the same. Because we are all different, the scope of our wants, materially speaking differs greatly but the depth of our desire I believe is equal.There are those "beautiful people" in the world, the so called "rich and famous" or prostitutes of such; that desire a new house in Cabo, or a new Yacht, or a new "Benz". Then there are the average folk that just want a new pair of shoes or a new watch maybe just a recent book from your favorite author.But the desire is the same. Your brain fixates on this new desire and you cannot live a normal life again until you get it. You cannot sleep or eat or think of anything else until this object that is totally overwhelming you is yours all yours. Have you ever wanted something so much that it hurt to not have it and it hurt to think about it and you knew that once you possessed it it would change your life if only by taking away the reason you've had to live.Have you ever started talking about this "thing" this object of your desire to the one person that could grant it to you. Choosing your words carefully and trying not to sound too needy but at the same time conveying the urgent desire.Have you ever been engaged in just such a conversation and suddenly recognized that you've won it. You have achieved that which you have sought after for so long. That very moment in the conversation when your vision narrowed and it became hard to breath the unusually thick hot air that was filling your nostrils and that pungent and bitter metallic taste in your mouth made you become unaware of what was being said because all you could hear was that little voice in your head telling you that you've won. That moment in time when you knew you had done it. It was yours!And then for some reason that little voice in your head was replaced by the distant but ever increasing sound of babble. Noise that at first was incomprehensible but slowly became very familiar once again.Have you ever been in just such a moment in time when you knew you had something that you've wanted terribly and then for some inexplicit reason you couldn't shut up. You just kept talking and talking and talking when all the while you were at the very same time telling yourself to stop! To shut the fuck up! But then realized that at that very moment when you talked yourself right out of it!That moment defines us forever. That moment brands us as "normal", "average" it explains to the world why we wear old shoes with a new coat of polish, why we have that tarnished Timex strapped to our wrist and why our "new" book already has dog-eared pages where we've not yet read.Life seems to get better once you've given up all hope.Current Mood: melancholyCurrent Music: Train