Hats and Coats and memories

Hats and coats hang around long after the memories fade.

Has it been a year already? Yes almost. It is time to take another shot at removing my son’s coats and hats from my front entryway and putting them away for good.
I tried to do this last year and it never happened. I cannot explain it but it is harder than it should be.

I see these things by my front door every single day and I tell myself to move them. I tell myself enough time has passed and it is time to stop reminding myself that he is gone.
But putting the last of his things away is rather like putting his memory away and it has become very difficult.

Before my son was killed he was working on a State Quarter collection and I took it on myself to finish his collection and I have just completed it. The last quarter is in place and the book is closed.

Now that another year has passed and his coats and hats are still hanging by the front door it has taken on a life of its own. It has now become this thing I must do before I lose my mind at the possible cost of losing my soul.

The other thing that occurs to me is writing about these things in this blog has become very therapeutic. Even though by the lack of comments it would appear that no one reads it. Still it feels like I am writing to the world and it feels like after I write it in this blog and release it to the world that it is somehow gone. I don’t write as much as I used too and after I deal with all my issues I may not have anything else to say.