When your number is up, is it really?
I may have lived longer than I am supposed too. It’s really hard to say but I have died several times in the past and have dodged the reaper more times than I can count partly because they have been numerous and partly because some of those instances no doubt took place when I was pumpkin puking smashed!
But that is off subject, when I was a mere child (not to be confused with a Mere cat; entirely different thing) I along with my twin brother was dying of some weird shit and in fact was given last rites by some Catholic Jamoke that was hanging around at the time, likely as not trying to get a peak at some naked little boy; I was pronounced but came screaming back with a vengeance.
Then there was the three times I was pronounced at the age of 5 when I came down with Rheumatic Fever and subsequently had a heart attack and kicked the bucket, left my body and floated around the ceiling of my room for a while. But then I came screaming back with a vengeance.
I have been shot at, stabbed at, had stuff thrown at me and some times hitting me, I have been in airplanes that almost crashed, I have been in numerous automobile wrecks and a rather serious little motorcycle crash, I have fallen off of high things, I have electrocuted the shit out of myself, I have accidentally stuck my self with knives, scissors, screwdrivers, sticks, etc…
I have almost drowned on many occasions while diving in the Pacific, and I have taken plenty of harsh chemicals that didn’t think my body a temple and proceeded to trash the fuck out of it.
But I still came screaming back with a vengeance.
Once in ‘98’ while skydiving I came within 4 seconds of death when my chute failed to open above the hard deck and I barely got the drag chute of my back about the time I could count the corn on the cobs in the corn field I was plummeting towards.
Then there are the numerous times while scuba diving that I have been tangled up in monofilament or kelp and was just able to free myself before panicking and attempting to resolve the problem by drinking all the ocean to get it away from me.
But, I came screaming back with a vengeance!
While in Turkey in the early ‘80’s I was attacked four times that I can remember, again the whole pumpkin thing comes into play; in which I was forced to fight off 5 assholes on one occasion, seems like 6 or 7 on another occasion, this time with my trusty Buck knife, and again on that same night by at least a dozen mangy flea bitten dogs that chased me (the wrong way) down some railroad tracks.
Again, I came screaming back with a vengeance.
The fourth time a boxer buddy of mine from Saint Louis and I was riding back to Adana from Mercin on his Honda 750 when some Turkish Muslim bastard pulled across the highway we were on in front of us, stopped his big ass Mercedes Benz truck, jumped out and ran off. We were just able to miss the truck, hit some poor bystander, probably killed his ass; we knocked the fucker right out of his shoes. We went down and slid into the medium and then from out of nowhere it seemed a crowd of Muslim cocksuckers gathered around us and started beating on us. Jerry and I were able to pick the Honda up and get it started while those Muslim shitheads were punching and kicking us and get a few miles down the road where we had to stop and straighten out the handlebars as best we could so we could make it the rest of the way back to the ‘big lick’.
But then I came screaming back with a vengeance.
On more than one occasion I have poisoned myself with alcohol and lost several days in the process of screaming back with a vengeance.
Yet I am still here.
Why?
But that is off subject, when I was a mere child (not to be confused with a Mere cat; entirely different thing) I along with my twin brother was dying of some weird shit and in fact was given last rites by some Catholic Jamoke that was hanging around at the time, likely as not trying to get a peak at some naked little boy; I was pronounced but came screaming back with a vengeance.
Then there was the three times I was pronounced at the age of 5 when I came down with Rheumatic Fever and subsequently had a heart attack and kicked the bucket, left my body and floated around the ceiling of my room for a while. But then I came screaming back with a vengeance.
I have been shot at, stabbed at, had stuff thrown at me and some times hitting me, I have been in airplanes that almost crashed, I have been in numerous automobile wrecks and a rather serious little motorcycle crash, I have fallen off of high things, I have electrocuted the shit out of myself, I have accidentally stuck my self with knives, scissors, screwdrivers, sticks, etc…
I have almost drowned on many occasions while diving in the Pacific, and I have taken plenty of harsh chemicals that didn’t think my body a temple and proceeded to trash the fuck out of it.
But I still came screaming back with a vengeance.
Once in ‘98’ while skydiving I came within 4 seconds of death when my chute failed to open above the hard deck and I barely got the drag chute of my back about the time I could count the corn on the cobs in the corn field I was plummeting towards.
Then there are the numerous times while scuba diving that I have been tangled up in monofilament or kelp and was just able to free myself before panicking and attempting to resolve the problem by drinking all the ocean to get it away from me.
But, I came screaming back with a vengeance!
While in Turkey in the early ‘80’s I was attacked four times that I can remember, again the whole pumpkin thing comes into play; in which I was forced to fight off 5 assholes on one occasion, seems like 6 or 7 on another occasion, this time with my trusty Buck knife, and again on that same night by at least a dozen mangy flea bitten dogs that chased me (the wrong way) down some railroad tracks.
Again, I came screaming back with a vengeance.
The fourth time a boxer buddy of mine from Saint Louis and I was riding back to Adana from Mercin on his Honda 750 when some Turkish Muslim bastard pulled across the highway we were on in front of us, stopped his big ass Mercedes Benz truck, jumped out and ran off. We were just able to miss the truck, hit some poor bystander, probably killed his ass; we knocked the fucker right out of his shoes. We went down and slid into the medium and then from out of nowhere it seemed a crowd of Muslim cocksuckers gathered around us and started beating on us. Jerry and I were able to pick the Honda up and get it started while those Muslim shitheads were punching and kicking us and get a few miles down the road where we had to stop and straighten out the handlebars as best we could so we could make it the rest of the way back to the ‘big lick’.
But then I came screaming back with a vengeance.
On more than one occasion I have poisoned myself with alcohol and lost several days in the process of screaming back with a vengeance.
Yet I am still here.
Why?
posted by half_cent | 10:14 AM
3 Comments:
Half_Cent,
You surely have seen your fair share of pain and suffering. I can relate to the experience you had when you left your body and floated around the ceiling!!!I also had a similar experience!!After that experience, I realized that we are more than flesh and bone, we do have an energy or spirit force that is within us all!!
I'm not getting religious, because I have read your take on that , but after everything that you have survived, don't you think that your life has more meaning than what you use it for?
Some of those experiences probably caused you to develop hatred and negative feelings towards certain people, but I think after so many life and death experiences , you must know that life is ultimately about love. Don't you think?You must have people that love you a great deal for you to fight and survive all of that!
I just spent some time reading your past posts, and I want to say that I am truely sorry for the death of your son Eric. I thought that you were just some angry , ranting lunatic until I took the time to read your Blog. I want to apologize to you for being disrespectful on my blog.I understand why you would question religion after such a tragic event.After reading your blog, I realized that we are all the same. We all ask these questions and search for these truths.I understand you a little better now.Again, I am very sorry for your loss.
NZYME, What I am amazed at is strangers who think they know other strangers. Even more amazing are those who actually think they know ANYTHING!
I asked God to reveal himself to me and he did...in the form of giant asshole!
I welcome yours and others comments but please refrain from "knowing what's best for me".
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